What to do about Hate Mail

Real talk.

Blogging can be a very strange profession, and the internet is a weird and wacky place.

I’m certainly no stranger to hate mail. I receive a fairly regular (though thankfully not overwhelming) number of angry and negative messages.

99.99% of these are from men who disagree that women traveling solo (or traveling ever) is a positive thing. And for whatever reason, I get a lot of strongly worded attacks on American women in general.

… I also receive a lot of frighteningly sexually aggressive messages, but that’s a different topic.

The best dick pic in the history of the universe
I wish this was the only “Dick” pic I received

Most of the time, I can let these undesired emails, comments, and messages roll off my back. I forget about them easily, and sometimes even laugh about them later.

This time was different.

Earlier this week, I landed in Detroit for a 24 hour layover, to take in the city and more importantly to visit with my sister.

That same day, I began receiving a deluge of diatribes explicitly attacking every reachable aspect of “me” including my looks, my weight, my intelligence, my purpose in life, my future ability to be a mother, my relationship… and eventually: my safety.

For the first time in the history of this blog, I was threatened with violence. Vehemently. Repeatedly. Graphically.

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, because it did. Badly. I felt so anxious and upset that I couldn’t properly concentrate on my time with my sister.

And that makes me even more sad and frustrated, because my time with my family is so precious and seldom and cherished.

I wasn’t being fully present with my sister, because I was so in my own head going over the frightening threats that had been made against me.

So, what to do?

For now, take a step back.

On Sunday, I land in Israel for a family vacation with two of my FAVORITE people: my husband and my sister.

I refuse to be a person that allows some anonymous nobody to rob me of my precious time with my family.

Because of this, I’m going to take a break from this blog and my emails until I get back from my too-rare family vacation on September 11.

I won’t be going radio-silent, though!

You’ll still be able to join me on Instagram and Facebook (where it’s much easier to block creeps from butting into my fam time). I’ll be sharing my experiences real-time on Instagram Stories, and a daily recap on Facebook. Please do stop by and say hello, because it’s people like YOU that make this blogging thing worthwhile.

I don’t give in this easily — I won’t be waving that white flag of defeat anytime soon. I’ve got a blog post coming in HOT on September 11 about responding with love in the face of hate. But right now, I need to have love for myself, and my family.

If you miss me terribly, I’ve got a huge backlog of articles (over 200 at this point!) just waiting to be read. You can check them out, organized by country, HERE.

Rio de Janeiro Jiu Jitsu
and in the meantime, I’ll be refreshing my jiu-jitsu take downs.



A short vacation in Thailand turned into a life abroad with a canceled ticket home. Nearly a decade later and after living in Bangkok, Rio de Janeiro, Puebla, and Puerto Vallarta, Steph is on to her next adventure and living back in beautiful, cosmopolitan Mexico City. She is living, traveling, and working (both as an expat therapist and an international health insurance representative) around the world to find the beautiful, inspirational, and interesting while sharing it with you!

Find me on: Web | Instagram | Facebook


  1. Andreas Moser
    September 3, 2017 / 7:06 am

    I don’t even get hate mail. 🙁

    • Steph
      September 3, 2017 / 1:45 pm

      You should be SO happy about that!

  2. BohoEve
    January 12, 2018 / 7:44 pm

    That is horrible that people would send you mean messages. I’ve never experienced anything like that. I’m sending you positive energy and friendly love. 🙂

    • Steph
      January 13, 2018 / 5:22 pm

      Aw thank you so much! <3 it is much appreciated! <3 The positivity outweighs the negativity and meanness infinitely, which is why I keep doing this, and it is SO refreshing and lovely to receive a nice comment like this.

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